Thoughts On Fear

If 2013 was a challenging year in terms of learning experiences and deep self-awareness, 2014 is a challenging year in terms of putting it all into practice. It is always really scary for me to come out of my comfort zone, and it is a big source of anxiety, but I gotta do it.

I know fear is unhealthy. I know fear is what stops us from developing our full potential and actually discover what we are really capable of. I think fear is a great obstacle for learning, as mistakes are the experiences that teach you the most. That is the rational part of my brain talking.

Then there's the part of my brain that is just a jerk. It fills me with insecurities. Over the years, it has told me that I am not smart enough, not pretty enough, not thin enough and not capable enough. Sometimes I have listened to it. Other times I have stepped up and given it the finger.

Thanks to overcoming my fears, I have lost a lot. I have lost money, like the time we moved away thinking it was best when it really wasn't. But most importantly, I have lost many barriers that would have stopped me from accomplishing what I have so far. And thanks to overcoming my fears, I have gained confidence, new skills, perspective and pride in myself. Oh and if it wasn't enough, thanks to the time I overcame fear and moved to a country far, far away where I didn't know a single soul, I gained my now husband and a gorgeous toddler.

Don't get me wrong: I feel afraid. Pretty often, actually. I wonder if I am making the right choices in life. I second-guess my parenting all the time. I am afraid of making a big decision and then regretting it a second later. For example, last year I was freaking out on my first day at my job, because my mom is actually my boss and I was terrified of doing a crappy job and letting her down. Life is scary. So many things can happen that can turn it upside down.

But I keep taking risks regardless, and telling the jerk in my brain to STFU. It makes life more interesting, and I'd much rather live an interesting life than a safe one. It is brave to do something risky. It is brave to stand up after falling and say "I will try again tomorrow". That's where the greatest things in life happen. Life has big and little mistakes. It has ups and downs. We just better make sure not to miss the "ups" by wallowing in the "downs".

I remember in 2005 I was the valedictorian for my High School graduation. I read my speech and finished with a quote by Robert Frost that has stuck with me ever since, and it is one that I keep going back to when times are hard: "In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: it goes on." So much wisdom in those three little words! No matter how badly you screw up, life will go on. Tomorrow will come. Let it find you ready to take on the world, to take a new risk, to start what you have always wanted to do (perhaps apply for a new job? ask for a promotion? book that holiday? ditch that toxic friend?).

Your 90 year old self will thank you for it.

Funny Street Signs

So, Sean and I were just walking around in Mexico, and happened to stumble upon some of the funniest signs we had seen.

Take, for instance, this one:

I thought this was brilliant! Asking for a coffee nicely will save you 50%! Some people just need a little lesson in manners sometimes.


No comment on this one, though  (it speaks for itself! haha):

I mean, who comes up with stuff like this!:

This one below was quite possibly my favorite:

This one almost made me snort coke out of my nose!

And finally, this gem: (Mexicans must really like tourists?)

I found those signs to be quite creative. They took some serious stuff (such as "don't throw cigarette butts on the ground" or "STOP") and put a funny spin to them. If we all did this more in our daily lives, wouldn't that be a much happier, more fun way to live?

Mid-Week Pick-Me-Up

It is the middle of the week again, that time when we start to feel that Friday is taking forever to come. But since this blog is all about the glass-half-full approach, I thought I'd share some things I am loving right now. Finding new things that you like, that are cute or funny or interesting, is a surefire way to make the day easier and brighter, so here is my list:

1. Elephant Slippers: there is no cuter way to keep your feet warm during the colder months.

2. Kim Kardashian's latest pic of North West: those cheeks you guys!

3. This Beautiful Bohemian Necklace: from Roots and Feathers

4. A Stoneware Piggy Bank: tell me this isn't the cutest piggy bank you've seen today!

5. 3D Graffiti art on the street: mind blown!

6. Reminder that life is beautiful. Always.: it never hurts to have this handy when you are going through a tough time. There is always something beautiful in your life to hold on to.

7. This Eric Thomas Quote: I pinned it months ago, and I recently remembered it and went back to read it. Sometimes it feels like a long and hard journey towards achieving your goals (it is!) but keeping in mind that it will pay off is the way to ensure it does. The best things in life are never easy (I know, I know, I am a living cliché).

8. Mouthwatering French toast with Nutella and strawberries recipe: aaaand... now I'm hungry!

9. And last, (but most definitely not least!) these two guys that set my heart aflutter:

Blog Makeover!! // Be Yourself ... (Unless you are an asshat)

So, if you have ever been on this blog before, you would have noticed that it has had quite the makeover!  The beautiful oh so lovely Kaelah from Little Chief Honeybee designed the header, and it is everything I wanted and more!! I am so beyond happy with this little space on the internet. (oh, and you have to check out Kaelah's brand new notebooks, in partnership with Denik; they are dreamy!)

Then, I also came across this lovely badge from Squeesome, and I just had to have it on my blog:


I am a firm believer that the fastest way to achieve happiness is to be true to ourselves. In the end, it's our life that we are living, no one else's, so don't give anyone the right to make you who they want you to be. I write so passionately about this because I didn't know how truly life-changing it could be to be find that something that defines you. Thanks to last year's experience, when I failed to find a job in New Zealand, I was forced to dig deep inside myself. I made myself go back to the basics: what sort of job would truly bring happiness and fulfillment to my life? Am I going to settle for what I can find (which was clearly not happening), or do I go out and make it happen for myself? And if I'm going to make it happen, then exactly what and how and where is it going to be?

These were really hard questions, they made me second-guess everything I believed to be true. It was very surprising to find out that the answer had always been there, staring me in the eye, waiting to be uncovered. And when I finally admitted to myself that writing is what I wanted to do, I took full responsibility for it. I love daydreaming, but I refuse to sit and dream about a life writing. I decided to dive head first into it, and start this blog. My very own outlet, a collection of all the things I like: beauty, fashion, being a mommy, traveling, food, home decor... whatever is inspiring me at any given moment. I have never felt more honest and more authentic in my entire life. I don't know if people are even reading all my ramblings, but at least I am being me.

There is no feeling quite like knowing exactly without a shadow of a doubt where you want your life to go. It took me 25 years to be brave enough to believe it, and now that I have, nothing seems more obvious. Boy, am I excited! I am probably boring you, but I just can't stress enough how much happiness it brings to find your true calling. When I picture myself doing this permanently, it warms my heart a little (yes, I am getting way too cheesy, better stop now!).

Be it sports, be it drawing, be it writing, be it traveling... whatever it is that just lifts your spirits, puts a smile to your face, and makes you proud to be yourself, go ahead, do it. Start now! I doubt there is a greater regret than to have lived a life that wasn't truly yours.

Change Of Direction

I am a planner. I love making plans, picturing where I'll be in ten years time, daydreaming about what I still want to achieve. And lists. I make lists every single day, for the even the smallest things, or else I become an unorganized mess. I even sometimes make a list of lists I need to write. I guess this makes me a total control freak.

And it also makes me pretty darn naïve. I start picturing my life a certain way, and for some reason think that it will turn out just like that, when this couldn't be further from the truth. Granted, some of the plans I have made have come to fruition exactly as I imagined, but life throws at us all kinds of loops that make us change direction and completely redraw our life plan.

My mom always told me that I had to be a lot more flexible and less "square"; to stop planning so much and be more spontaneous, but it was never easy for me to do that. Last year, however, I learned that lesson the hard way.

Sean and I always had this plan that as soon as I finished my university, we would go back to New Zealand and settle there. Exactly one year ago, we did. We left our apartment, my family, my friends, Sean's job, and the three of us set out to start our lives there, convinced that nothing could go wrong.

We got there and immediately started applying for jobs. Sean got a job easily. Within two weeks he was already working. I on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. I was so sure I was going to take no time for me to get a job, and that anyone would be lucky to hire me. Why, only because I got good grades in college? because of my "awesome" cover-letter writing skills? Ugh! Guess what Veronica? Hundreds of other people have a ton more experience than you, got better grades than you and write better cover letters than you!

After five months and at least sixty job applications, I got the much sought-after job, only not in New Zealand. This job meant great opportunities, financial stability (which we were lacking), and kick-starting my career. And it also meant packing up and leaving everything behind all over again. It wasn't an easy decision by any means, but in the end we decided that we had to do it. The events that teach you the most in life are never easy: this decision taught us that "failure" is only in our minds. I did not fail only because I couldn't find a job in New Zealand; we have grown and learned and become more mature. We appreciate our jobs much more now. We know that sometimes life doesn't go to plan and that it's not the end of the world. I for one, know myself a lot better thanks to this experience, as I know that what defines me is not a job, but my whole set of qualities, skills, flaws and decisions. More importantly, I have finally figured out that writing is what I want to be doing every day and I am working towards it, which probably would have taken a lot more time to figure out had I gotten a job straight away in New Zealand.
In the words of a Disney character (again, forgive me for this, but cartoons constitute pretty much 80% of your life when you have a toddler):

"Well, that's the good part, I guess. You get to go find a new dream". And you know what, I definitely have found my new dream now...

Flynn Rider,  in "Tangled"

Thoughts on Happiness

Source

This is going to be a bit of a different post, since this is mostly a beauty and lifestyle in general blog, but I love writing about what comes to mind and about things I believe are worth sharing, which is why today I am going to share with you some experiences in my life that have taught me a little about happiness. I am by no means an expert on the subject, I am simply sharing what I learned recently. Don't worry, I won't be writing these kind of posts frequently, I know they can get pretty boring pretty quickly.

So, anyway, I was browsing Pinterest for a few (coughs *four*) hours, you know, as you do, and stumbled upon this pin.

The first thing that captured my eye was how beautiful the image itself is: the pink, the flowers, the gold typography, the jewelry... I love it all. I love how just a few, simple details work together to create a bright, beautiful space. This image definitely goes on the list of my future home office inspiration.

However, I decided to pin it when I read the words. Be Happy. Be Bright. Be You. Such small words conveying such a powerful message! For me, the last two are the path to achieve the first. Only when you are truly being yourself, and you are determined to keep shining no matter what life has in store for you, can you be truly happy. By no means is this an easy task to achieve. I should know.

No matter how many times I try to convince myself otherwise, I was a pretty negative person. I had an unconscious habit of complaining about little things all the time. If my coffee got cold, I complained. If I had to pay a little more than I expected for my car service, I complained. If another car was being a complete asshat on the road, I complained. And I wasn't being happy. I mean, I had happy moments of course, and I wasn't miserable or anything, but I most definitely didn't feel content and happy with my life as it was.

Then last year came the trip to New Zealand, which forced me to change every single preconceived idea about myself and life in general. I thought I would move, get a job straight away and live happily ever after with my son and fiance, and go on with our lives there. As it turns out, the "job straight away" didn't happen, which decreased my self-esteem and sense of self-worth. It also meant we were close to being completely broke when a job opportunity turned up back in Colombia. In a very small, very hot, very unknown-to-me city. And I had to let go of the very rigid plan I had made for us, and start all over again. In a less than ideal place. This change shook me to the core: the circumstances were forcing me to move to a city where I definitely didn't want to live, and it made me really really unhappy.

In retrospect, I can definitely say that this has been my "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times" moment. I was so miserable the first few months after moving back, and I don't think I had ever been so negative. And then I hit rock bottom and realized something HAD to change, and fast. I realized that my whole life, my happiness had been dependent on external things: the city where I lived, the friends I had, the amount of clothes I owned, my grades at university, you name it. My happiness had never come from within me, and it became crystal clear why I had never truly felt happy: the things I couldn't control were the ones responsible for my happiness.

Now, I can fully appreciate this little pin with its few, little words. Being happy is about learning to shine and remain bright when circumstances change, or when you are in a less than ideal position. It is the knowledge, deep within you, that your life is working out exactly as it has to, and that there is a reason for everything (no matter how cliché that sounds). And it is also about learning who you are, and staying true to that. If you pretend to be someone you are not, or if you are being the person other people want you to be, there is no way you can achieve happiness. For me, the answer was blogging, because it forced me to write about things I was feeling, things that inspire me, things I like, and this is teaching me who I really am.

I encourage you to start this journey of learning who you really are, and then finding a way that works for you to stay true to that. It is not easy. But it is so totally worth it, because when you are truly being yourself, your light will be shining brighter than ever, and I can assure you that you will be able to feel happy. I was incredibly surprised when I changed my mindset, as little things weren't affecting me nearly as much as they were before, and much to my pleasure, I am happier now than ever before. Yes, even living in this tiny little hot town in Colombia.